Late night mysteries...

My eyes, still heavy with sleep, tried to open as I drifted in and out of consciousness. I was only slightly aware of the discomfort I was soon to discover. A few moments of surveying the situation unveiled my worst nightmare. I was laying in my bed drenched in what I could only assume was a puddle of my own urine.

"This cannot be happening." I thought outloud. "I am 28 years old!"

Quickly, I surveyed the wet areas on my body and asessed that it could not be my pee... but who's then? Mark, passed out on my left, was the only other body in our bed. On the floor, a child lay still, snoring and obviously out cold. "Maddison", I thought. She would have been my prime suspect; but it didn't seem she had moved from her spot on the makeshift bed I had laid out. My body instinctively rolled to the edge of my bed, as it did so often in the middle of the night, and walked itself through the bathroom into my miniature "walk in closet." The soaked jammies clung to the right side of my body, sticky and for the first time I noticed the stank of urine. After dressing myself in clean jammies, and deciding to wait intil morning to shower, I headed to Wyatt's room. The vacant bed in the corner did not throw me. Often in the night, Wyatt had wandered to different areas in the house, never awake as he moved locations. One morning I found him passed out on the family room floor. No pillow, no blanket, just fast asleep on the carpet.
Continuing my investigation, I went to Maddison's room to see if maybe he had snuck into her bed. Creeping up to the edge of the bed, I could hear the slow breathing and see the silhouette of his tiny body. I pulled back the covers and confusion swept through me. It was Maddison, not Wyatt as I had suspected. Just a few hours ago it was her who slept on the pile of blankents and pillows next to the side of my bed. So, if Maddi was here in her bed, then that must mean it was Wyatt in my room. My eyes swept the floor quickly discovering the nighty and undies that lay rumpled next to her door. My hand reached and grabbed them up off the floor; It was just as I had suspected, The moisture unmistakable. After placing them in the bathroom sink, and grabbing a couple of thick towels from the linen closet in the hall, I headed back into my room. The pieces of what had happened began unraveling in my brain. Wyatt must have come into my room and tried to share a bed with Maddison on the floor. Maddison, who can't stand sleeping next to Wyatt, had probably slithered into my bed unnoticed, and sometime in the night, urinated all over herself, the bed and me. Apparently I had been in so deep in slumber, (which rarely occurs) that she had been able not only to pee on me, but also flee the scene of the crime. Her attempt at destroying the evidence before being discovered, had been flawed, as you could only expect from a 4 year old. A smile spread accross my face conveying not only the pleasure I felt for myself in solving the mystery, but also a sense of amusement that my daughter was so sneaky and smart. I placed the towels over the wet spot on my bed, too tired to change the sheets at 4am and slowly re-entered in an effort to keep from waking Mark. He only had a couple of hours before he would have to get up and get ready for work. It took a while to relax and calm back into slumber. I peeked at the clock on my night stand which now read 4:40am. Now on the verge of going back to sleep, I rolled over and let myself fade away. Just as reality dissapeared, the unmistakable bark of our little Shitzu Kalli forced my eyes wide open. "You have got to be kidding me," I muttered under my breath. Once again I was out of bed, this time headed downstairs to let the dog outside. Realization hit that the last hour and half of my life was to be expected. An obligation. Merely obedince to the unwritten laws that all women across the world swear in silent oath the moment they become Mothers.

Given a chance at taking back my "oath", I would have to politely decline the offer and accept all the sleep deprived nights they can throw at me.